Saturday, July 14, 2018

Through The Gate

Those of you who are New Age inclined probably know that 2018 is an 11 year - a "Gateway" year when new opportunities open, blah blah blah. And recently we had a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Cancer (that's up there with Solitary Eclectic Neo-Pagan for wordiness) that, if circumstances were stalling you in the first part of this year - should have kicked you through the gate for the second half of the year. Kinda like a football.



via GIPHY

Friends who have known me for any extended period of time also know that I am (oh boy we finally have a label) a multipotentiate. Which means that every now and then I completely reinvent myself because - I get bored.

I have, in fact, been circling the drain - I mean - circling this subject within myself for probably about a year. Circumstances in the outer life of dealing with feeding and housing myself and my husband, and dealing with issues created by our current state of "medicine" and his chronic health issues - among many other things - have been putting this on the back burner over and over and over during that time. But it's always there, tickling at the back of my brain, trying to get my attention.Sort of like a little kid the first few days of summer vacation..."I'm bored. There's nothing to doooo..." sitting there up to their ears in toys and games. I sympathize - what we're really saying is there isn't anything we WANT to do here because we DID it already.

And just because I'm done with what I'm doing doesn't mean I have a strong clear idea of what I want to do next. I mean, wow, I just moved to LAS VEGAS BABY. So. Much. To. Do. My eyes roll back in my head...

Somehow, the beef with Amazon over the reviews - and maybe the timing with the New Moon yadda yadda - and finally having time and being in a place where all is finally well here. We have great healers caring for the hubby and he is doing well. We are finally in a comfortable place financially - we can eat on a regular basis and everything. There's still stuff we need to sort out, but it's not a 24-7 life and death struggle.

My dissatisfaction... has been bothering me. Like I said, I no longer have this dire struggle going on - literally life and death for one of us. Sit back. Relax. Think of twenty small niggling things that are bugging me like hearing a mosquito buzzing around the room that you can't see. How wasteful is it of me to be worrying about those twenty things now that I am so blessed with a comfy home, food, healthy hubby, and even mostly healed from my big accident in January.

But... bzzzzzz....bzzzzz...bzzzzz...

Well, I finally granted myself the time over the last six weeks or so to play with my mental blocks - and here's what I've come up with.

Leaving - I'm divorcing Amazon.  Read all about it there, if you didn't already.

There is an additional reason here, too. Nothing to do with Amazon but - in essence the State of Nevada punished my husband and I for my royalty income - and are poised to do it again if I should dare to make more than XX dollars (yes, TWO Xs) and at any event expects me to present a detailed report to them for every single penny I make - while allowing me to claim no expenses at all. They also penalize royalties at a considerably higher rate than they would penalize "earned income" (as if I don't do anything to earn royalties). The proofs they require, and the proofs of the proofs, and the proofs of the proofs of the proofs, are ridiculous. I spend hours of time and pages and pages off my printer to prove I only made $1.72 last month. Three different ways. Every month. So that's kind of counter productive. I could be writing - or - something. LOL.

I'm admitting that I've already for all practical purposes stopped writing. If I WANTED to write, I have had time to do it in the last six weeks. Instead, I played games, tinkered with digital art, and watched anime and animal and crime documentaries. And read. Writing anything longer than my over long blog posts feels like too much work. It isn't fun anymore. That could change. And that doesn't mean I might not write...oh, stories for rpg games...

Because the new is - I admit and embrace my gamer self. Yes, it took a long time, but I've been weaned off tabletop into digital land. (not that I wouldn't drop everything if a good tabletop became available but I do live in the tiniest of tiny houses you know). I've been playing with Unity, Blender, Renpy, and ideas and things going on in my mind. But there is a pretty painful learning curve here. I think for once in my life I am going to have to actually pay for and join an actual training program of some sort for games, and digital art for games. I reserve the right to wander off and make short videos with Blender or other programs as well.

I'm continuing to learn Japanese. Wouldn't it be crazy to end up drawing manga backgrounds in Tokyo? Unlikely, but who knows! It can't hurt.

As a reiki healer, I am coming into my own. I'm considering ways to expand that. As it is, there are a good half dozen people who receive distance reiki healing from me almost every day, and I often send energy any place I feel it is needed. It is possible that I will create some sort of small thing where you can donate a buck or two to me, and request reiki and I can help a few people and animals or situations. At any rate, I want to grow and learn and continue to study energy healing of all sorts and share the goodness of that one way and another.

Yeah, I'll continue doing origami. Keeps my hands and mind busy. And it's pretty. Sometimes even useful.

And I kinda think I'm going to end up dancing on Fremont Street. Maybe even for tips. Wouldn't that be a fun little full circle of life?

I haven't really been keeping a blog in...forever. Obviously they don't make any money, and I feel like the time of blogs is over. Having said that, there are a few I read frequently, and they are all over on Wordpress. So in interest of being with a community that is interested in what I am interested in (games, anime, nerdy stuff) I am probably going to by and large move bloggy things over to my Wordpress blog. Or A Wordpress Blog - I might start a new one. New starts, you know. When I get that urge to write a snarky or interesting article or short story, or jump in on a writing challenge, well at the moment Sweek.com is looking pretty cool. Here's my shiny new profile page. 

So, yeah, that's kinda whats happening in my creative life right now. Hope you can cope.

Blessedbe
And thanks for hanging out with me

Summer Foovay

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