Thursday, November 30, 2017

Nanowrimo 2017 Summary/What's next for us

(cross posted from Patreon)
As of today I have 30,966 words. I am not unhappy with that, although I would have liked to win. As usual, I'm looking at 30K and saying "but I'm not even halfway through the story". 
All in all I am not going to dog myself about it. This month has included several unnecessary doctors appointments, the usual wrangling, bad dialysis treatments and bullshit. 
This desktop works some days and does not work some days. There is possibly something loose inside on the on/off switch. We can't just leave it on because it moves twice a day from the desk by the window (where James sits) to the dining table (where I sit) then back to the desk (the table makes into the bed and I sit by the window after James goes to sleep). James cannot fix it because the case does not open - this is an all in one. We did a "backup" to Google Drive and it used all my drive space. We found there were thousands of duplicate files and weird shit like the Pinterest button was there about 100 times. I ended up having to strip the Google Drive to empty and then going through each file here. I'm through the Documents folder and it is, at least, nicely organized and all backed up. Luckily there aren't that many pictures, and most of them are here four or five times. There is something running that backs up the photos that my Kindle sends to Amazon and it downloads ALL the photos and videos on my Kindle EVERY SINGLE TIME I take a new photo or video... So today's big task is sorting out all the duplicates, finding the photos worth keeping, and backing them up to Google drive since I can't figure out how the hell to put them onto Google photos. And probably on my Flickr account, too. So - this has been a big ongoing issue/project this month that takes a certain amount of priority. My big plan for today is to finish, or at least make inroads on finishing back ups. They are more important right now than finishing a novel.
Last, and of course, hardly least - we are getting ready to relocate to Las Vegas. This entails, of course, telling the dialysis clinic we are going - and then the "oh, we love for you to travel, it's no problem, just give us a call" turns into "OH MY GOD YOU'RE GOING TO TRAVEL??????WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????? WELL, WE MIGHT - MAYBE - CALL US IN A MONTH - WHAT - YOU'RE GOING WHEN - YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US TWO YEARS AGO YOU MIGHT TRAVEL THIS CENTURY. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CURRENT TB TEST YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CURRENT HEP B TEST YOU HAVE TO...OH NO THE CLINIC HAS TO TALK TO THE CLINIC-WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE COMPANIES????????
I have a sneaking suspicion I'm going to end up taking him to Las Vegas and checking him into a hospital for dialysis and THEN getting a chair (time slot). 
Sigh.
And, of course, because we are still in Las Cruces - the heater died in the middle of the night ten days before the end of the month. The Kindle money came in yesterday and is enough to replace it, but James got it working again somehow (pure intimidation I think) so we are going to wait until we are in Las Vegas to do that, maybe. If we can. 
See what I mean about lurching from crises to crises? 
This is just not us. The events are not of our making, and not in our control. In fact, we are constantly told by the people who are constantly fucking up that we don't know how to do things, we should let these fuck ups do it all for us poor, stupid, ignorant patients.
Deep cleansing breath. 
So we are pretty well set at this time on leaving Monday, and thus having all weekend to get things done like a fluids inspection and top off for Firefly. Packing up the few yard things we are keeping. Finishing the backup on this desktop as I don't expect jouncing around in back for two days is going to improve the situation on it. Figuring out what accounts will transfer and what has to be cancelled. Since we are telling some people we are "vacationing" and others the truth that we don't plan on coming back there are complications :P but since people here will fuck you over we have to be just as dishonest in some cases. Things I will not miss...
I guess this might sound like a list of excuses but it isn't really. I'm actually happy with that word count. That is the equivalent of about six sex stories - you know, the books that make money. It's about half a novel for me, and I'm happy with how it is coming along. I intend to finish it. 
When I finish it - I'll be living in a state where wild horses actually do run free... I might even get to see them before the BLM kills them all. 
That will be cool :D
Summer Foovay

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

A Decision Had To Be Made

"Nano Nano"
"You're okay by me."

Sorry, momentary lapse into Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A few days ago during my morning meditation the words popped into my head, "What are you waiting for?" and the answer is - well, I've got a dozen of them. None of which are legitimate reasons when you look at our past, and the various versions of our possible future here in Las Cruces, NM. None of which I like the looks of.

So - he gets paid December 1st. We order one more (spare) tire for the Firefly, and when it gets in and is on, off we go. Las Vegas, NV Baby!

Our best dialysis clinic here is 3 star. Their worst is 3 star, the rest are better and there are over ten to choose from instead of 4 owned by two companies. We have one doctor who handles this damn defibrulator that comes up once a week for a day or so, Las Vegas has TEN doctors working with Boston Scientific. A search for alternative health practices turns up over 1000 results. Maybe I can find a doctor or two that doesn't either laugh, or scream, when I use the dirty words, "nutrition", "supplement", or "vitamin". Marijuana is legal - maybe he can finally have some real pain relief and sleep. What did the "Pain Management" people offer us here? OPIOIDS.

We have been discussing leaving Las Cruces for nearly a year due to the often wretched care at the dialysis clinic here. I wanted to have some work done on Firefly. I wanted some money saved. But every single month something breaks, wears out, is stolen, or comes up. EVERY month. This is not our life - we don't have that kind of life that is simply lurching from crises to crises. Except here, we do.

We will never get anything saved. We will never have the Firefly perfect. And I'm tired of watching him toss and turn and moan in pain all night long. Days he feels great because he got a good dialysis treatment. Days he feels crappy because he got a crappy treatment. Not anything we are doing - just depends on who is taking care of him at the clinic and whether they felt like doing their job.
I'm afraid he will catch something there this year and end up back in the hospital - and I'm afraid these hospitaler doctors will KILL HIM.

So, we're bugging out. It's got to be better - it could hardly be much worse. He is as good a health as can be expected given the level of care here. He feels good enough to be angry and frustrated at the care he is receiving. We need a spare for the Firefly and we're out of here.

Viva Las Vegas!

Send good thoughts.

Blessedbe,

Summer Foovay

P.S. Oh yeah, I'm still working on my Nanowrimo 2017. I might even win! If you want to watch, you'll have to come join me on Patreon. Otherwise, you'll be waiting until I finish and edit and publish on Kindle. If you join in time, I'll send your donations in December on to a Mustang refuge. 

Monday, November 13, 2017

FREE on Kindle

Did you know, almost every one of my four children's books for ages 10 and up have five star reviews on Amazon? They also have ZERO sales for 2017. Which just shows you what not having a promotions budget can do for you - LOL.

So for the next week, you can get Mr. Odon Ata and The Blue Dragonfly on Kindle for free. Maybe I'll get one or two sales and a few more five star reviews and then it will once again sink into the oblivion.

U.S. link: Mr. Odon Ata and The Blue Dragonfly
U. K. link: Mr. Odon Ata and The Blue Dragonfly
Canada link: Mr. Odon Ata and The Blue Dragonfly
Australia link: Mr. Odon Ata and The Blue Dragonfly

Meanwhile, I am plugging away on the Nanowrimo 2017 novel about wild horses. If you'd like to follow the progress - and in the process donate to a wild horse refuge in the U. S., you can sign up to donate to my Patreon account.

Blessedbe

Summer Foovay

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Thank you

The first part of November is always crazy busy. Among other things, the Kindle money has come in, as well as the money for your blog subscriptions. This month, the Patreon money even came in without me having to scream bloody murder to get it!

So I want to thank you all for your support. For reading my blogs, buying and reading my books on Kindle, and your kind and open ended support at Patreon.

It means a great deal to me, not only from a financial standpoint but also from a heart felt appreciation. I spent the first half of my life around people who were never satisfied with anything I did, no matter how hard I tried. If I reached the goal, they moved it! It means more to me than you will ever know that people enjoy my work enough to actually pay some of their hard earned money for it. Knowing that there are people out there who believe in me enough to send money to help me continue to create gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling like no other.

Bless you and thank you.

Summer Foovay

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Nanowrimo 2017 - Hope springs eternal


I had a big crash depression episode last night.

For several weeks I have known what I was writing for Nanowrimo 2017 - because I was pissed and afraid and pretty sure I was right. The BLM intends to zero out ALL wild mustangs on public land. They got permission to sell them for slaughter in this fucking budget and it passed. Then they got permission to shoot them from helicopters instead of rounding them up (who didn't see that coming). And last night the BLM abruptly without warning ended a volunteer manned, non-taxpayer, cooperative program with citizens of Nevada that was using PZP as a humane range management. Yeah. They intend to kill every last one of them, regardless of what the public wants.

It's part of this administrations policy to sell all public land to the highest bidder whether they want to mine, frack, drill, chop down trees, or graze cattle. Mustangs and the people who come to see and photograph them will only be in the way. So the horses have got to go.

Growing up I read "Smokey" by Will James, about a cowboy who captures and gentles a wild mustang. In time they become trusting, loving partners. I read "Mustang" by Marguerite Henry - and then all of her books. I have gone through my entire life knowing that there would come a day when I had the time, and the facilities and resources, to adopt and gentle my own Mustang. Always. It was one steadfast dream.

Then came the TIP program and I thought what a wonderful way to contribute. I could gentle my Mustang, and others. Making them more adoptable for people who don't happen to have "taming wild horses" in their skill set. I fully intended for that day to come for me.

I spent some time living near the Caballo Mountains and for some reason, don't ask me why, they're my favorite mountains ever. Yes, they are named the Horse Mountains - because of the wild horses that used to live there. I have this dream vision of wild horses running free there again because I own a big hunk of land on the mountains and adopt a whole band to run free.

All those horses are gone now. So far as I know, there are no wild horses running free anywhere in New Mexico. Although...I was told that there are a few. That the ranchers whose land/lease they live on keep their mouth shut about them - so they will not be rounded up and killed by the BLM. Because some cowboys actually LIKE horses - even and maybe even especially the wild ones.

So for years I've had this idea rattling around in my head to write a story about a wild mustang stallion and his band, and the old rancher who hides and protects them as they live wild and free on his ranch. That was going to be my Nanowrimo 2017 novel - so I could rant about the extermination while I was at it. Only the extreme, end days things I had planned to fictionalize in the book, have actually come true in the last few weeks.

Last night I felt all those dreams shatter like the china horse figurines I used to collect. And my crazy mind took over and said, if they'll do this, what's next? End Medicare/medicaid and SSD? They'll kill horses outright. They've already figured out how many people they can kill and how much they can save in one of their health plans. Why not introduce the anti-Medicare expansion bill - the end Medicare bill. They have two more votes than the Dems. They can do it. Kill all these "useless" people.

Like my husband.

I'm pretty sure the only reason it hasn't been done already is because the big medical companies like Fresenius and DaVita don't want that to happen. They make billions off Medicare keeping people like my husband alive. The Congress we have now - they seem quite willing to cut off their nose to spite their face. To lose those corporate sponsors just to spit on the liberals and socialized health care.

And...I spiraled into paralysis. Nothing got written. I thought maybe I'd do something different but everything I could think of came back to the horrors of this current administration and the destruction of what I thought was the country I lived in. And I know I'd start strong and rant and get too depressed and agonized and have to quit. Because I've done that. What to do?

Watch four hours of anime and fall into bed was my eventual solution.

I got up this morning to discover my hubby was going to join us in Nanowrimo!  Then he brought in from the mail a photography magazine he had subscribed us to. On the back was a photo of wild horses. Inside was an ad for photo taking tours of wild horses. I got online and went down the rabbit hole and came up with a prize. Several refuges for Mustangs - on owned land without any BLM involvement. (Some working with BLM but I'm sure that will end soon). The very thing I believed would save our Mustangs. The same thing that saved our buffalo. Private people who chose to make a difference, to save an endangered animal, to devote their own lives to the cause.

There is hope.

Before you ask, no, I haven't considered doing a crowdfunding and trying to start my own refuge in the Caballos. No, that's wrong. I have considered it - and discarded it. Too cynical. Too experienced, in my mind. I can't believe in people, so it would never work. My husband is the center of my universe and his care and feeding takes up too much of my time and mental space for me to have enough left over to tackle this project. In this case, I cannot be the change I want to see in the world.

But I can help fund it.

And on that note, here is my plan.  I will post my Nanowrimo novel, as it is written, on my Patreon account as Patron only posts. If you join during the month of November to read this as it goes, whatever your pledge is, when it shows up in my account December 1st, I will gather them up and send them to one of the Mustang refuges I mentioned.  After that, hell, quit for all I care. I know it isn't for me, it's for the horses.

If/when the book is published, 50% or more of the profits from it will go to Mustang refuges continuously as long as I and Mustangs are around.

Because writing - I can do that.

And maybe, just maybe, you can spend one dollar to be part of it.

Blessedbe

Summer Foovay

Photo info & credit: Given no shade or shelter, a yearling Mustang languishes in the sweltering heat of a BLM holding facility.
Image from YEA (Youth's Equine Alliance)


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