Wednesday, November 2, 2016


The latest clinic fiasco landed the husband back in the hospital yesterday.  They drew 2.2 liters of fluid off his lungs today.  And did dialysis.  The good news is they did an ultrasound and the fistula is fine, and the clot is shrinking.  The only problem with the fistula is it is immature, small and not ready to run at full tilt boogie so some tech can get home a little earlier.  He had dialysis in the hospital today and it worked fine - slower with a smaller needle but fine.

We did have a knock down drag out with another hospitaler doctor who wanted to leap into massive immediate intervention on the heart failure.  Informed her we were still trying to recover from the last massive immediate (and unnecessary) intervention six months ago.  She didn't want to take no for an answer.  The hospitaler - a general MD who has known him two days, say 30 minutes at most, and clearly has not even read through his records, wants to force us to have cardiology care our cardiologist says is not necessary and that we know  from bitter experience causes my husband severe harm. 

We had seen the hubby's own cardiologist the day before  and he told us he has a plan and wanted to wait a little bit longer to make sure dialysis was going well before implementing it.  He gets it.

Hubby MIGHT have a heart attack, although it is very unlikely.

Hubby WILL die without dialysis.

The unnecessary cardiology treatment WILL make it impossible for hubby to have dialysis. This is not a "maybe" we KNOW this from bitter miserable experience.

What is hard to understand here?

The hospitaler after an argument that eventually had us shouting at her and the nurse she brought in to help her bully us left shaking her head over how we are willing to risk a slight possibility of heart attack (which apparently is so minimal his own cardiologist is not worried about it) just because we want him to be able to have dialysis (that is - live).

She accused us of risking his life - to convince us, really almost trying to force us, to do something that we KNOW FOR A FACT RISKS HIS LIFE and is UNNECESSARY 


bottom line: He's better.  The anitcoagulant is working.  The fistula is fine.  Talking about sending us home tomorrow!

But before we had that talk...I had to get out of the room so they could do dialysis earlier today.

You know that family and caretakers disturb the etheric vibes that make magic dialysis machines work so they have to get at least a mile away from the patient before the techs can do dialysis.  AHEM.  (You know those cutsey poo pics of the grandchildren gamboling on the bed while grandma smiles and gets her dialysis?  Total bullshit) 

I used to assist with his peritoneal dialysis but now I can't even be in the same room with the hemodialysis machine.  


I took a walk up to a store and bribed myself shamelessly for #Nanowrimo.  I bought a new notebook with a screaming cat on the front (it's a cat story).  New gel pens, nice thick ones with soft pads for old arthritic knuckles like mine.  And a bag of my favorite fancy cookies that I never buy for myself because they're pricey.

Once all the doctors and nurses and techs were done running in and out and poking and prodding and arguing and threatening and my poor husband dozed off I managed to write 1800 words more or less,  I counted the words on 3 pages, averaged it, multiplied that to the 18 pages done. Written in my increasingly sloppy and arthritic longhand.  I hope I can read them later!  But at least I did get started.  Mostly sort of prologue, I think.  Still have a few prep things I want to do like research some cat trivia to make sure I have it correct and make a list of things that can happen, and maybe even (try not to die of shock) plot.  I mean, really, like written out and stuff.  I'm a hard core pantser but I'm also prone to great starts, slower middles, no endings...I'd like to actually finish a few things this year. Never mind editing I never do because I see the need for a massive rewrite (no plot) and faint.

With any luck, sometime tomorrow we will be home and I can write on a real computer for the rest of the month in between some more doctors appointments, dialysis, some medical and real life research, and some decision making we need to be doing. Now that the hubby is feeling better we can consider some alternatives now and we need to because it is becoming increasingly clear that some of the care he is receiving is doing more harm than good. And we are going to talk to the cardiologist about moving up his planned timetable.  Not because hubby needs it - but because we've got to get these hospitaler idiots off our backs.  The most stressful part of this whole stay has been the argument over treatment he does not want or need from someone who is not qualified to provide it.

(Don't these people take some sort of oath - first, do no harm? No, wait, maybe that's the Wiccan Rede, An Ye Harm None...guess they don't honor that one either)

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