Friday, November 18, 2016

Nanowrimo2016 Shaxpir and all that jazz

 I am, I am, I am still writing on Nanowrimo 2016 novel, now temtatively titled (on my Shaxpir) Ming, the Kinky Tailed Cat.  To tell the truth, I can't tell you EXACTLY how many words are in the novel because it's partially in Shaxpir, partially on my Google Drive, and partially handwritten in the notebook you see me holding down there.  But I will admit I am well behind the goal, no matter how you count words.  At this point I have to admit I am fairly sure it isn't going to hit 50K or be finished by the end of November.  It will no doubt be set aside with the million other WIP, which is where it came out of anyway.  December I want to jump into the rewrite of the third book of the Blue Dragonfly series, as well as finishing up Serendipity on Wattpad, and the first draft edit on Nanowrimo 2014 (A Coyote, A Kitsune, and a Tanuki) and a few other projects I'd like to finish and publish, either on Kindle or Wattpad.
And in case that wasn't enough to keep me busy, I have started a winter project.  In case you don't know me that well, some years ago I started choosing some project or other - something new I want to learn - to engage my brain over the cold, closed in winter months.  This year with all the transition going on, I had decided I wanted to simply work on improving previous projects - learning Japanese, and practicing some more advanced Origami.  I was tossing around another idea or two, though, of course.  Then I ran onto an opportunity to learn Reiki at a price I could afford.  With high hopes that I will be able to improve the husbands health, and at least reduce some of his pain (since we cannot afford to get pain medication for his arthritis) I purchased the course and have started on it.  I am really glad that I did, because I think it is making significant improvements in my inner life, at the very least, and therefore probably in everyone's outer life around here.  Hubby says, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Oh yeah, I meant to also mention that I downloaded and have been using Shaxpir on my Nanowrimo novel.  I have fallen in love with it, because it lets me write the way I write, especially on WIP.  I can jump in, write a scene, or make a quick note of an idea, without any hassle or having it take longer to wrestle the software than to jot the idea in a notebook.  Speaking of notebooks (and I have about six right now with notes in them) Shaxpir lets you create a notebook for each novel with jottings of idea, info, websites, whatever.  Again, really works with my dart here, dart there, style of research and thinking.  This software simply suits me perfectly.  In December I plan to sit down and put the current WIPs into it, to finish, rewrite, and edit.  And then the ones after that, and the ones after that.  I think after many years, and many notebooks and softwares I've found the one for me.  I haven't gone to the website or browsed the forums or any of the rest of it.  Haven't tried the conversion to ebook function yet.  But as far as it goes, this is my review so far and I do recommend Shaxpir if you've got a pinball machine for a brain like I do.

It's time for us to get our shit together, disconnect the RV, and take him over to the dialysis clinic.  These photos of me in the dark - that's me working while he is having dialysis.  I have this little wonder LED light I charge all day so I can see to work in the RV after dark.  The hubby sat down and did some work on the Chromebook today so MAYBE it will concede to not only let me write, but will actually SAVE my writing (so far it's simply eaten 5 or 6000 words because it gets pouty when it doesn't have Internet).  And if it goes haywire or runs out of charge - I have my trusty little kitty notebook and some pretty pens.  Ain't nuthin gonna stop me.


Summer Foovay

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Turn the Page

Bob Seger's Turn The Page is one of my all time favorite songs.  I've done a bit of traveling and working myself and I am familiar with that sense of being alone in a crowd.  
That said, I also believe that there are times in your life when you need to turn the page and move on.  Some people find that suspicious for some reason.  Others think I never do it soon enough.  Good thing I don't live for anyone's approval but my own.  Growing up with no approval, ever, from the ones who should love and encourage you will do that.  You grow up knowing you'll never be able to make anyone else happy with you - so you don't try to.  
2016 has been a pretty horrible year for us.  Truly one of the worst since my hubby and I have been together.  But there are signs of hope now.  A glimpse or two of daylight coming our way.  There have been some very major changes, but we are adjusting.  Transitions are always rocky roads to travel.  Some more than others.  
We are starting to talk about the future.  The next few months, the new few years.  We are winnowing away the emotions and keeping the lessons learned.  Although we have lost quite a few things from material things to health to friendships this year - we have not lost our dreams.  They have simply endured a bit of adjustment.  Instead of settling down in five years or so - we will be settling down temporarily where we are at.  And then doing a little more traveling, we hope, to find a new place we love to settle and buy land.  We have always dreamed of our own self sufficient little farm when we were ready to settle down.  That time seems to be now, rather than five years or more into the future as we had planned.
But then, we make plans and the gods laugh.
Because of new higher expenses, I really need to increase my income from my kindle publications, so forgive me if I get a little self-promoting for a bit.  We need the money if we are to have the life we deserve and desire.  I don't think we ask for much - but right now we are barely able to afford survival.  That needs to change.  
Thanks for hanging in there and reading my words.  I hope once in a while I say something that gives you joy, happiness, or even contains a nugget of wisdom.  
(Cross posted on Wattpad)

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


The latest clinic fiasco landed the husband back in the hospital yesterday.  They drew 2.2 liters of fluid off his lungs today.  And did dialysis.  The good news is they did an ultrasound and the fistula is fine, and the clot is shrinking.  The only problem with the fistula is it is immature, small and not ready to run at full tilt boogie so some tech can get home a little earlier.  He had dialysis in the hospital today and it worked fine - slower with a smaller needle but fine.

We did have a knock down drag out with another hospitaler doctor who wanted to leap into massive immediate intervention on the heart failure.  Informed her we were still trying to recover from the last massive immediate (and unnecessary) intervention six months ago.  She didn't want to take no for an answer.  The hospitaler - a general MD who has known him two days, say 30 minutes at most, and clearly has not even read through his records, wants to force us to have cardiology care our cardiologist says is not necessary and that we know  from bitter experience causes my husband severe harm. 

We had seen the hubby's own cardiologist the day before  and he told us he has a plan and wanted to wait a little bit longer to make sure dialysis was going well before implementing it.  He gets it.

Hubby MIGHT have a heart attack, although it is very unlikely.

Hubby WILL die without dialysis.

The unnecessary cardiology treatment WILL make it impossible for hubby to have dialysis. This is not a "maybe" we KNOW this from bitter miserable experience.

What is hard to understand here?

The hospitaler after an argument that eventually had us shouting at her and the nurse she brought in to help her bully us left shaking her head over how we are willing to risk a slight possibility of heart attack (which apparently is so minimal his own cardiologist is not worried about it) just because we want him to be able to have dialysis (that is - live).

She accused us of risking his life - to convince us, really almost trying to force us, to do something that we KNOW FOR A FACT RISKS HIS LIFE and is UNNECESSARY 


bottom line: He's better.  The anitcoagulant is working.  The fistula is fine.  Talking about sending us home tomorrow!

But before we had that talk...I had to get out of the room so they could do dialysis earlier today.

You know that family and caretakers disturb the etheric vibes that make magic dialysis machines work so they have to get at least a mile away from the patient before the techs can do dialysis.  AHEM.  (You know those cutsey poo pics of the grandchildren gamboling on the bed while grandma smiles and gets her dialysis?  Total bullshit) 

I used to assist with his peritoneal dialysis but now I can't even be in the same room with the hemodialysis machine.  


I took a walk up to a store and bribed myself shamelessly for #Nanowrimo.  I bought a new notebook with a screaming cat on the front (it's a cat story).  New gel pens, nice thick ones with soft pads for old arthritic knuckles like mine.  And a bag of my favorite fancy cookies that I never buy for myself because they're pricey.

Once all the doctors and nurses and techs were done running in and out and poking and prodding and arguing and threatening and my poor husband dozed off I managed to write 1800 words more or less,  I counted the words on 3 pages, averaged it, multiplied that to the 18 pages done. Written in my increasingly sloppy and arthritic longhand.  I hope I can read them later!  But at least I did get started.  Mostly sort of prologue, I think.  Still have a few prep things I want to do like research some cat trivia to make sure I have it correct and make a list of things that can happen, and maybe even (try not to die of shock) plot.  I mean, really, like written out and stuff.  I'm a hard core pantser but I'm also prone to great starts, slower middles, no endings...I'd like to actually finish a few things this year. Never mind editing I never do because I see the need for a massive rewrite (no plot) and faint.

With any luck, sometime tomorrow we will be home and I can write on a real computer for the rest of the month in between some more doctors appointments, dialysis, some medical and real life research, and some decision making we need to be doing. Now that the hubby is feeling better we can consider some alternatives now and we need to because it is becoming increasingly clear that some of the care he is receiving is doing more harm than good. And we are going to talk to the cardiologist about moving up his planned timetable.  Not because hubby needs it - but because we've got to get these hospitaler idiots off our backs.  The most stressful part of this whole stay has been the argument over treatment he does not want or need from someone who is not qualified to provide it.

(Don't these people take some sort of oath - first, do no harm? No, wait, maybe that's the Wiccan Rede, An Ye Harm None...guess they don't honor that one either)

Living on the down low

If you are one of the few brave souls who have been with me for lo these many years of blogging and writing and webpage designing, wow, I l...