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Saturday, October 17, 2015

October Scare: 31 Things that Scare Me

Inspired by author Jennifer Chase' blog entry of 31 things that scare her (which you can find here ) I thought I'd do one of my own.  Her list was actually quite interesting and sometimes surprising - and I bet we'd think the same of almost anyone's list of 31 scary things.

I think I'm kind of strange about what scares me - but maybe not.  Like anyone else I'm very influenced by my early life.  I spent most of my childhood HOPING I would DIE - and often attempting to find a surefire method of suicide accessible to someone 6 or 7 or 8 years old.  (The only thing that might have been worse than death was surviving as a cripple at my mothers mercy)  Once you've looked forward to embracing death, not much really scares you.  Suffering, pain, illness, and not being in control of my life - now THAT scares me.  Death?  Not really.

That said, here's my list:

1) Roaches - yes, irrational, I know.  Completely so - near phobia levels.  Go figure.

2) Things that set off my PTSD flashbacks and panic attacks.  Unpleasant, and not always predictable (or I'd avoid them)

3) Vicious dogs.  Weird, huh, for a former Animal Control officer and animal lover.  It's a backwards fear - I do know how to defend myself, and I would - but I would really really hate to hurt a dog for something that is probably the owners fault...

4) Absolute darkness.  Not the starry nights we have here, or a darkened room with a bit of light peeking in from outside - but absolute complete darkness puts me in a panic, especially in an unfamiliar place.

5) Being really, really lost.  Not pleasantly exploring lost but I know the lake or campsite is back that-a-way.  I get this more when I'm in someplace like an apartment complex with tall buildings that all look exactly alike.

6) Being out of control of my life - as in something like having had a psychotic break and so my desires are not respected and I'm forced to take medication I don't want.

7) Prescription drugs.  I have major drug allergies and have not had a prescription drug in over 25 years - so a drop of some things really could kill me dead between allergies, side effects, and lack of resistance.  Most nurses and doctors don't believe this until you've proven it to them.  Think about it...

8)  Serial killers.  Oh yeah, 'cause you never know who they are until after you've let them in the house or helped them put their groceries in the car.

9) Rape.  Nuff said.

10) Nightmares.  I sometimes wake up so frightened I have to get up and go read a book or something to calm down.

11) People who drive all over the road. I don't care whether they're texting, fighting with their kids, or drunk but you shoot from one lane to the other or drive down the middle and I can't get away from you fast enough.  Especially if I'm in Firefly - who isn't the most quickly manuverable vehicle on earth.

12) Black ice.

13) Hubby dying before me.

14) Becoming enormously obese (I've been battling my weight for years)

15) Any disability or illness that would keep me from being able to go outdoors, riding my bike, kayaking, hiking, being around horses and so on.

16) Republican fanatics.

17) The Tea Party

18) Rabid Xtians

19) Extremists of any breed

20) Stupid people

21) Willfully ignorant people

22) Men who are afraid of women

23) Anyone who hates animals kind of scares me

24) Cold - which to me is anything below about 20 degrees F (there are reasons I live in southern New Mexico)

25) Jellyfish

26) Worms - not earthworms, but grubs, segmented things especially, or like parasites like strongyles.  ick.

27) Hospitals.

28) Funerals

29) Fire - not a nice campfire, but a fire that could destroy my little home and everything in it in a few minutes.

30) Tornadoes.  Boy do I NOT miss being in Tornado Alley.

31) "The apocalypse" or "nuclear war" because A)I don't believe it will ever happen, B) if it does NONE of us will survive, C)I intend to run towards ground zero and make damn sure I don't survive it because I am intelligent and well-read enough to know it ain't gonna be like the movies and books.  It won't be "cool" and "fun".  It won't be worth surviving - to me anyway.


So - that's my list.  Some are pretty stupid, some are completely irrational, some are basically a personal issue, and some (to me at least) make perfect sense.  So, what's your list?

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